A huge THANK YOU to Minted.com for sponsoring this post.
We hear, and see it all the time… in memes, quotes and in casual happy hour chats with girlfriends. But it’s way easier said then done. Growing up, I was in back to back relationships since I was 14 years old, all lasting over 4 years. Then…it happened…my live in boyfriend (of nearly 7 years) and I broke up and my heart went along with it.
He and I had bought a house together, adopted two dogs together and I thought we had figured out forever together. Then piece by piece our relationship began to crumble. Non-stop arguments, moving in to separate rooms of our own house, emotional infidelity. Utter disaster until all semblances of our happy relationship were a distant memory.
For lack of better words, I was devastated.
For a girl that had been a ‘we’ for more than a decade, being single was a huge freaking adjustment. Living alone, eating alone, sleeping alone…and on top of that I had moved to a new city where I knew absolutely no one. One year turned into two, and two turned into five. Yes, you read that right…five years of singledom. But before you cry for me Argentina…keep reading.
Some AH-mazing things happened in those 5 years.
I discovered my love of blogging and left the corporate world to start my own business (the blog you are reading right now!), I learned how to make my very own friends and become a truly independent woman, discovered how much I like to workout, and I even learned to travel to other countries solo!
The more I began to focus less on meeting someone simply to fill the void, the more I got to know myself and learn to love me, just the way I am. I felt like Julia Roberts in ‘Runaway Bride’, I finally got to figure out what kind of eggs I liked, not just order the same eggs as my boyfriend.
In fact, once I got over the fear of being single, I realized how utterly KICK-ASS it can be! Making my own schedule, answering to no one but myself…in fact I now joke about how the only time I really missed being in a relationship was when I needed help carrying groceries up two flights of stairs, or doing up a rather difficult zipper/piece of jewelry.
I am not saying that I didn’t have pangs of loneliness, that would be a flat out lie. There were nights I sobbed to my mom on the phone about how I was convinced I was going to be single forever, and how I just wanted someone to share all of the fun experiences I was having with. But then to be completely honest, I would go on a date and come home singing Carrie Underwoods song, ‘The More Boys I Meet, The More I Love My Dog’. I cannot tell you how many times I sat across from a guy thinking to myself, I’d rather be blogging at home with Brooklyn (my pup) by my side.
At this point, you might be saying to yourself, ‘okay lady…so how did this help you find the love of your life?’. Well…in spending 5 years learning about who I am, it helped me become very clear on what my priorities are, and what I needed and expected in a life partner. In all three of my passed relationships, I had always put the focus on my significant other, and who I was totally went out the window in hopes to please my partner, so not cute.
Being single for so long forced me to take a long hard look at who I am, and helped me find my voice, not just an echo of someone else’s. So last year almost to the day, when I met John and we began to date, when he ‘ordered his eggs’, I ordered mine.
That is one of the pillars of our relationship, we both have our own interests, passions, hopes and dreams. He has his motorcycles, and I have my passion for fashion. When he watches Westworld, I watch the Bachelorette. It’s a beautiful thing.
John and I get married this Fall and I am so stoked! After being single for 5 years, I can honestly say it was totally worth the wait, and I thank my lucky stars every day for being patient, learning to embrace the single life and learning to love myself, because there ain’t no love, like self love!
P.S. For all my engaged babes and wedding day dreamers out there, if you’re as obsessed with these black and gold foil wedding invitations as I am, you can get them at Minted.com, I’ll link them below.
I love Minted because they offer a wide variety of wedding invitations, RSVP cards and entire wedding invitation suites to choose from which are all designed in the United States by local artists! I’ve linked them for you below so make sure to check them out!